Day Two.. a month and half later.

Hello Again.

It's been around 2 months which is indicative of how my life (of lack thereof) has been going. Granted things have in a sense heated up. Get ready for lots of clichés.

I am faced with a dilemma that I have tried pushing off for a while, out of fear, annoyance or a misguided catholic upbringing.

I am currently embarking on a relationship.

Which scares the $#*& out of me. Not only does the possibility of allowing someone to get close me emotionally freak me out… but the physical part scares me too. I am overly cautious and a planner, yet. I am ready to get continuously physical (as Olivia who had a slight comeback on Glee a few weeks back said, "Let's get Physical") with someone.

Now the mildly conservative side of me comes front and center, how am I going to enjoy the most pleasure without the possibility of getting pregnant? I can barely keep my plants alive, there is no way I want a baby and honestly, I don't really want a baby with the guy I am seeing…. which brings on a veranda of other issues.

As I am the following:
-lazy
-forgetful
-busy
-a novice
I am going to attempt to start birth control and continuous use of condoms… I would like to double up without losing the end result.
The next dilemma I face is… how do I obtain birth control as I don't really have a doctor and I am lazy and busy.

Ah… problem solved. I can clearly remember protestors every morning on a corner showing pornographic guttural images outside of building. Amid my instant urges to honk, flip off and shout "Grow a Vagina" to the predominately male protestors, I remember that building is planned (or plan to avoid) parenthood is located.
I've done the necessary research and figured out a strategy… just because I really am that immature and secretive, that I really don’t want anyone to know that I am going there. I am going to call first thing, set up an appointment and get going on
this preventive game plan.

The other issue. The boy. So... now I have some pros and cons to duke out.

Item one: Defining what it is I am doing
Ok. What do we do together.
F*%$. Watch Television.
F-buddies. I think.

Item two: Defining what I actually want
No commitment. Something fun to do.

Item three: the Conclusion
Stay on course (feeling like a skipper). No need to divulge any further thoughts or effort.

If things go in a different direction, then re-assess.

Foreshadowing through the looking glass … I think he may want more.

Rough seas approaching.